Tag Archives: Insomnia

Getting There

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I hate it when people worry about me.
HATE IT.

I feel so guilt ridden.
Such intense shame.

PLEASE don’t worry about me – I PROMISE I will never choose suicide over life.

I have promised the soul of a 9 year old boy
that I will not let suicide be his family legacy.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

My insomnia is so heightened at the mo.
Can’t sleep at night,
and can’t get up in the mornings.

Then today,
I started moving out of sheer fear.

A friend was coming to see me to say “Merry Christmas”,
and she was bringing her Mum.

Holy shit-burgers Batman.
I live in a hovel
and now someone’s Mum was going to see it!!!

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Yep - this is suppose to be a place where you prepare food to eat. Not so much?!?

Yep – this is suppose to be a place where you prepare food to eat.
Not so much?!?

Not a snowballs chance in hell.

So I spent a good three hours,
* emptying boxes
* recycling
* chucking rubbish
* vacuuming
* steam cleaning lino floors
* bagging up clothes for the Salvos

And it still looks like a shit-tip,
but the hallway is clean.
Kinda!

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Insomnia

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One of my Top Ten favourite dance songs,
and
it is SO relevant to my life with Depression . . .

Turn your speakers up LOUD 

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In the past my Insomnia has left me debilitated.
Night after night
I would struggle to get proper sleep
and would wake the next day simply exhausted.

I would then be drawn like a zombie to my bed,
mid afternoon
only to repeat the pattern of insomnia that night.

And so on . . .

Arghhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!

But lately I have been paying attention to my body
as a bi-product of the
“I Quit Sugar” program.

And I have made two
EXTREMELY
important discoveries.

If I sit on my computer
* for any longer than 5 hours in a day
OR
* in the two hours before I go to bed
I am GUARANTEED to have insomnia that night.

GUARANTEED, people!

So,
I have experimented this past week and a half.
And sure enough,
by cutting back my contact with The Screen
I have made some serious inroads with my inability to enter “The Land of Nod”.

HOWEVER,
this is not all.

Quite by accident, I discovered that
– ok, this next bit of info is WEIRD, but it is what it is –
if I sleep with a light pillow over my eyes and ears
– YES!, a pillow on my head! –
then I slept a deeper slumber, than a Beauty in mythology.

Seriously!

And for the record, I never claimed to be normal!

Grin!

Grin!

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