Tag Archives: Goals

An Itchy Ear Canal + 22 Years

Standard

An Itchy Ear Canal

Lots of people get hayfever.
It’s a buggar of a thing that is more debilitating than we like to give credit to.

I am not unique in suffering from it nor are my symptoms unusual in sufferers. However, some of the symptoms that manifest aren’t talked about very much in general public – you know like on the antihistamine ads on the telly – and I need to do something about that.

Now I do exhibit the normal list of identified complaints such as itchy eyes, tickled nose, sneezing, hives and irritated soft palate (roof of my mouth),
BUT,
I also suffer from less talked about maladies of the condition, that I am aware others suffer from. Some of them are absolute rippers, too!

The absolute worst of which is when my inner ear canal gets irritated and itchy. I swear it is an amazingly surreal situation to have an itch in a place you cannot scratch.

Not that I don’t give it a red hot ‘go’.

I have tried to gain some relief by poking around in my ear with a number of items, the least dangerous being my little finger and the least intelligent being a toothpick. But that’s not all . . . how about a letter opener, cotton buds, bobby pins and a wooden skewer!?! Are you starting to see how irritating it must be to have this particular hayfever malady?

To be honest with you though, I am utterly grateful to live in a country that supplies cheap and easy-to-access antihistamines and to live in a part of the country that isn’t a total dust bowl.

See!
There’s always a bright side 😉

.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

.

22 Years

How passionate are you? Is there some fire burning in you on a deep level about an issue that is really important to you. A social issue? A wrong that you need to right?

I do, although I don’t know anybody who is aware of it.
I want to permanently change the Foster Care system in Australia so that it is a world leader in the care and nurturing of children who are at risk.

If you ask me how I’m going to do this – I can’t tell you why.
‘Cause I just don’t know.

If you ask me how long it will take – I’m not going to be able to say.
‘Cause I have no idea.

Then I saw this story about an ‘Everyman’ in rural India – a dude called Dashrath Manjhi – who ploughed fields (by hand!!!) to make a living,
and,
he also spent twenty two years to cut a highway through a mountain.

Why?
To link his poor and isolated village with the more affluent and advanced village on the other side of the mountain.

How?
With a hammer and chisel!

No shit!

.

.

And it makes me look at my hidden passion, and reaffirms that I need not place a timeline on my goal to make change. I can chip away at it. Moving one obstacle at a time, and I can be flexible as to how to attack the next stage of the process. I don’t have to look at the enormity of my task, I can simply look at making an impact in any way that I can.

Instead of seeing the mountain, I am going to see the highway.

 

Being An Empath – In This Heartless World

Standard

.

Life’s pretty hard in a normal kinda way – let’s face it.

Depending on where you were born you may encounter famine, slavery, mutilation, abuse, police brutality, gender bias, poverty, harassment, persecution, infanticide, unemployment, poor/no education, economic prejudice . . . . . .

Now I was born into a family of six that included a Mum & a Dad plus four children, where I was the eldest. We had a roof over our heads, we always had food and a warm bed. I had (relatively) free education until I was seventeen. I was allowed to have a boyfriend. I am allowed to marry whomever I choose. I’m allowed to apply for any job or career I want. The police aren’t allowed to abuse or detain me. I am protected by the same laws as all the other citizens in my country. I have the same skin colour as the majority of those in my country and therefore face no discernible injustices. I have access to free or affordable (as compared to our GDP) healthcare, including feminine hygiene products, GP’s, hospital, dental and ambulance. I have the capacity to rent a high quality computer and have access to fast and large internet downloads. I have the opportunity to grow and learn and reach my full potential, if I choose to stop living the life of an excuse maker or blamer.

See!

I am MORE than lucky in life.

I have been gifted by pure happenstance at birth, the chance to become whoever I dream of being. More than two thirds of the world’s population, that’s over 4 BILLION people – are not given this opportunity. Which is why I have been working so hard to turn my life around and

just

be

grateful.

.

EVERY day, I find something to be grateful for, and list five specific elements of that thing. I am trying to collate a Gratitude Journal, however time sometimes disallows this. In my mind though, it is going off like a firecracker!

But this doesn’t mean that I am casting a Blanket Of Complacence over my life, simply because I am grateful for what I have – on the contrary.

Being an Empath means that my whole life I have felt like I had to fighting for others’ causes as they were being persecuted or simply not given the advantages of Life that I had been. I would really fight. Battle! Swing metaphoric punches and in general look for confrontation. Because there is a lot that still has to change. There is still so much that is happening on this beautiful Blue Planet that is wrong – I just didn’t know that I didn’t have to be the one to fix it all.

 

Maxxy Moo

Maxxy Moo

 

But over time I have read a lot of books, and subscribed to words of many bloggers and watched countless videos online and viewed umpteen beautiful and powerful movies via DVD. I have used these amazing publications to build a kinder world for myself. A place where I am growing into the real Pia, and in response my psyche is healing. I am seeing, that as am Empath I can still be happy while offering solutions to others who are not as happy or safe or cared for, as me.

It is a big deal to grant yourself permission to be happy and content when you are acutely aware of the pain of others. A BIG deal.

But the analogy of the oxygen mask on a plane if just the best way to justify this – ALWAYS put your own oxygen mask on first, before fitting them on others. You simply cannot help more people if you have already passed-out yourself.

Help yourself, then help others.

.

That’s some good advice wouldn’t you agree?!?

 

Me

Feb 2015

 

.

.

.

.

.

 

My Last Apple

Standard

Two glasses of champagne – in my tummy.

Tuesday night was the first time I have consumed alcohol since I decided it was the major contributor to my Clinical Depression. And while I have occasionally missed the experience of drinking champagne from my hand-blown glasses, the truth is that it hasn’t been difficult.
Even easy.

And I feel fine today, and I felt fine yesterday.

No lingering or niggling feelings of the Blues. I stopped after just two glasses and as I was not ‘topping up’ my alcohol level from any previous drinking sessions, my body metabolised the golden bubbles very quickly.

I do feel a little tired, but that’s only due to my insomnia. An annoying side-effect of The Black Dog that I’ve had for over a decade. I usually feel tired. Most days.

No matter.

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

I didn’t think that I could manage to find more ways to cut my living costs – but the truth is that I need to find a way. Despite a part-time job, that I am increasingly grateful for, and avoiding all manner of expensive bibs ‘n bobs like going out, clothes & treats – I still can’t manage to save the money I need to build a kitchen.

So I need to find a new way to get more pennies into my piggy bank.

Buggar!

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – –

 I was blessed with a special gift when I moved into the Purple House. An adult & fruit bearing apple tree – Royal Gala to be precise. How awesome is that?

And while the possums and rats have decimated the tree each summer, I have usually managed to protect at least one piece of fruit, each fruiting season.

Voile curtains have a better use than hanging from a window – like encasing budding apples on a tree to protect them from marauding marsupials!

This year, only one apple survived – which is a shame as I am removing the tree over winter.

.Last Apple

.

All fruit trees have a ‘life’ and I’m fairly certain that my apple tree is over thirty years old. I can turn the branches into something crafty and the trunk will make it into the garden as sculptural stands for my numerous terracotta pots.

In it’s place I am planting a row of Peppie trees, so that the possums have somewhere to live and won’t reside in my ceiling any more.

Well that’s the plan, anyway.

My Body Is Borrowed, My Mind Is Not

Standard

.

I don’t know if I’m a fan of Beyonce.
My own prejudices and life-learned judgements impose themselves.
I’m not particularly proud of this.

But, I cannot deny her strength of character and her intelligence.

I was blown away by this mini-doco.
You will be too.

I hope.

.

.

.

.

.

.

 

A Quiet, Polite Girl

Standard

.

Like any normal human, I have ‘baggage’.

.

‘Issues’ from my past that crop up from time to time, affecting my present life. Although it is true, that I have made more of an effort than most (especially in my family) to reconcile myself with painful elements of my younger years, in truth, I am actually crap at this whole ‘Life’ thing.

You see I was of the Generation that . . . . .
. . . was brought up to never say “No” to an adult, to keep quiet when being scolded, to just accept mistakes made by others (including food orders at a restaurant), to never whinge and to always offer to help others even if it came at a personal cost.

I also grew up in a fairly religious and socially narrow household. I was brought up to believe that I HAD to wear my long hair ‘up’ (in a ponytail) except when you went to church (as opposed to school, going to a friend’s or to a birthday party), that wearing makeup before you were 18 made you a harlet, that popular music was anti-christian (and was definitely forbidden on Sundays), that kissing boys led to sex, and that sex was a dirty and painful business.

Even more acutely, as the eldest of four children I had a unique set of expectations put upon me, like; keep the younger ones safe, if the younger ones are naughty – I get in trouble, I had to lead by example, the ‘rules’ were toughest on me (as the first) and, I had to mature the quickest.

By the age of nineteen I was aware that my family life was pretty skewed and having lived through some fairly violent behaviour from our brother, the estrangement from our narcissistic father, bouts of depression + alcoholism + an attempted suicide by our mother (on the eve of my nineteenth birthday), and pretty severe poverty – my sisters and I were in bad shape.

And the tragedy is – from 1989, when I turned nineteen & my sisters were eighteen & sixteen – my two sisters and I all had to forge a life. A life based on a lot of pain and disassociation. The friendships and romantic relationships we made from that point, are what guided us to be the women we are today. Like every other person walking this Earth, some of those connections were pretty awful. And they had longterm repercussions.

I personally think that both my sisters have ‘issues’ that they are not able to face let alone deal with – but that’s life.
Isn’t it?!?

As 2014 comes to a close, despite the one thousand stories and one million thoughts that I still want to document and share, I am choosing a new direction for my life.

I will be saying “No” & “Fuck Off” a lot more often.
To all the negatives and all the bullies and to all of the elements of this world that have in the past, sucked the lifeblood from my soul, to the “Might over Right” mentality that we live amongst – I am saying “Fuck right off!!!”.

I will be prioritising my health and my happiness.
My little Purple Paper House will become my number two goal.

And after that?
I don’t know.

But I am full of intention to use the second half of my life, to be filled with Joy and the Wonder I once had oozing from me. I will find a way to make my Dreams come true.

.

%22Roar%22 Quote

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Christmas Day is My Reset Button

Standard

.

The majority of the Western World uses one day of the year to re-boot their lives
. . . New Year’s Day.

New Year’s Resolutions (NYR) are seen as the ultimate tool to building a productive year ahead and moving One’s life into a more positive direction. Money, health, career, relationships. Areas of our lives that we’re not happy with.

But, through circumstance and my own odd unique way of looking at life, I’ve always found Christmas Day to be the day where I reevaluate my life and look to changes I can make in my future. Everyone else may be running around and trying to please others, eating too much food and generally getting frazzled and tired – but I get to have one of my most ‘chillaxed’ and pleasant days of the year.

Seriously.

I slept in until 2pm (I had a rare sleeping pill last night), spent a couple of hours on my front verandah watching car after car drive past, opened my self-bought presents, flicked through one of my new magazines, watched two of my new DVD’s, cooked garlic prawns, decorated a piece of pavlova with whipped cream and strawberries, drank a few mocktails, watered all my lawns, did a load of washing, washed a couple of weeks worth of dishes and did some colouring-in.

.

Although I bought all these presents, some were a genuine surprise as I had forgotten what I had purchased

Although I bought all these presents, some were a genuine surprise as I had forgotten what I had purchased

 

Not a bad haul!

Not a bad haul!

.

See.
It was a perfect day.

.

Max's Christmas lunch - it was gone in 60 seconds

Max’s Christmas lunch – it was gone in 60 seconds

And now that I’ve come to the end of another Christmas, I look ahead to what I would like my 2015 Christmas to be.
And I start to see all the little steps I will have to take to make it come true.
You see, 2014, was my year to “Dream Big“.

And 2015, is my year to “Take Flight”.

I can feel every single feather in my wings start to stretch and quiver, knowing that I am going to take off into the sky next year. I am going to open my wings and I am going to see and touch and smell and taste a whole new world.

.

.

.

.

.

 

Beat Down The Inner Voices

Standard

.

There is something so incredibly powerful about beating the negatives voices that rule your own psyche. The voices that have such a loud voice in your own mind that you can’t actually shut them down. Or block them out.

And over the past 6 – 18 months, I have managed to put the bastards to bed.
I am finally rid of all the nagging and insidious voices that were controlling my life via my brain.

Yes, being under the care of my amazing GP and also a Psychiatrist + taking anti-depressants, including a new (secondary) one, had been a big part of this conquest.

But I also want to credit myself – I DID this!
I continued to strive to cane the *asthma*.

And I am coming to a place where I am not pressuring myself to conform to a predetermined notion of what I should be achieving. What I should be!

The Dalai Llama regularly answers the question,
“What is the meaning of life?”,
with,
“To find true happiness”.

It may be that I have unwittingly stumbled onto this path of enlightenment.

 

.

.

If you are unaware of the ‘voices’ that I am talking about,
then watch (& listen) to this video to understand!

.

.

Bad huh?!?

.

.

.

.

.