Tag Archives: Being Poor

Reader’s Digest Summary

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So much going on my day and in my brain. Blood testing for diabetes, sewing a wedding ensemble, lots of walks on the beach, learning to crochet. Fireworks at my part-time job, winning a competition, knocking down walls, organising my life.

All while I am trying to build my website – and by did I am getting sick of it.

Christ knows how anyone can be a software developer. It must be so bloody frustrating. I take one step forward and then five or six back.

Anyway.
That’s life isn’t it?!?

So I’m going to ‘suck it up’ and just keep trying.

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A Path Appears

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I am terrified
that I a losing every essence of compassion and hope that once was embedded in my psyche.

I am filled with Apathy (not Depression) towards life and the world
and all the elements that once gave me fulfilment or even hope.

I am clinging to anything that can give me back just a spark of my passion and love for life.
Even a glimmer of a spark would do.

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I am reading this at the moment.

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I am watching things like this.


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I am listening to episodes like this.

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I am doing ALL that I can to try to grasp back control of my mind.

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What Is ‘Beautiful’?

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A gargantuan element of my current mental crisis, is the growing yawn I am seeing in our culture between age and beauty.

I don’t really feel that I can eloquently describe what I am trying to say here. All I can vocalise is that more than ever, the wealthy are the only ones who able to acquire and retain beauty. Fillers, chemical peels, plastic surgery, botox – are creating a kind of beauty elite, that is absolutely unavailable to the majority of the masses. I utterly despair at the number of actors, models, politicians, business people, bloggers, reporters, sports people & doctors who find it a necessity to anti-age rather than age gracefully.

And I know that this gap between wealthy & poor has existed for eons, since wealth/poverty/beauty was begun.

But, when 19 year old models/actors (Gomez) are receiving quarterly botox injections, AND character actors (like De Niro), chefs (Ramsay) and world leaders (Putin – yes, Putin).
I mean – fuck, even Gaddafi had botox, fillers and plastic surgery.
Seriously!
WTF !!!

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And for someone who has NEVER been seen as even remotely pretty, let alone beautiful, who has a personality that is confronting and ‘too opinionated’, who is slightly overweight and of average height, who is poor, and who lives in the same society as all the men & women who feel that they have to retard the onset of ageing – I feel like I am growing even more unattractive, even more invisible.

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I cannot shut down all that I am seeing and reading. All that is around me. I can’t shut off the overwhelming sense of disconnection that I am travelling through.

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I simply cannot ignore what I am feeling.
What I am learning.
What I know.

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Healthy Poor Man’s Food

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OK
so I came across this genius idea of how to fill up when you’re poor.

Bonus?
If you use proper dairy products
(butter NOT margarine + full cream cheese)
all the fats will be healthy fats.

Plus,
they’re more filling!

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If you leave out the sugar drenched tomato sauce, it's even healthier!

If you leave out the sugar drenched tomato soup, it’s even healthier!

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Can you say “Hurry up and get the bread out of the freezer!”?

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Small Moments of Happiness

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One of the things about poor,
is the reality of when you don’t have money.

I know that this sounds like a redundant statement
but there are numerous ways to ‘fight’ being poor
and juggling money becomes a real art form.

For months I have
been wearing a pair of thongs
that are well and truly rooted!

Green monsters

Green monsters

The hole on the right thong,
is so stretched
that every time I wear them
the toe hold comes out, and I go for a trip.
And not the good kind of trip !!!

Then this week,
I scraped together $20
and bought myself a new pair.

Such a luxury
and such a relief.

New beauties

New beauties

I love them!

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