Buggar – My Black Dog Is Back :(


On December 5th 2013, I was accused of physically assaulting two young children in my care. I was investigated by DCP (Dept of Child Protection Western Australia) and found to have no case to answer.

My employer deemed that I could have handled the situation more professionally,
a view that I now share.

My GP was concerned about my mental health and immediately referred me to a psychiatrist. He was an intelligent and empathic man about my age and prescribed additional medication for me. I was already consuming 300mg venlafaxine each day, and now it was necessary for me to add 30mg of mirtazapine.

I spent the majority of 2014 working so hard to get my life back on track. Seeking future income, trying to guard my heart against past & possible future hurts, building a business from the ashes of a failed one, trying again and again to conquer my addiction to sugar. And I also looked towards a way to wean myself from the need of at least one of my drugs.

And so for the last six months, the first half of 2015, I have gone from 30mg to 15 mg per day of my mirtazapine. Then 7.5 mg per day. Then every second day and now I am at every third day.

A month ago I also managed to kibosh sugar from my life. After two full years, I did it. I don’t crave coke or chocolate or ice-cream. I no longer need hot chocolate, cakes or biscuits. I’m not hungry all day and I only eat REAL food.

But . . . . .

despite all these incredible triumphs, my Depression is back.





And I’m scared.







2 responses »

  1. Pia, keep talking to people who are good for you, and find those two diamond girlfriends we mentioned in the last post. I appreciate your thoughts. The Black Dog just comes and goes when he (or she) damn well pleases.

    PS tried to send you a link on IPad – will do so this eve. There’s good FB pages re the closures in WA. Lots of issues there, I know…. Social discord.
    Bye for now xxx

    • Hi Mel
      I am doing everything that I must.
      Trudging through the waist high mud with a smile glued into place.
      I’ll get through it, like I always do.


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