My *Asthma* is physically palpable today.
I’m missing Jack so much.
There are numerous little techniques I employ
to keep the Black Dog at bay.
Even though I still don’t have a kitchen, I do try to cook. I’m really committed to Sweet Poison & I Quit Sugar campaign. Tonight I tried two new recipes – coconut tuile cookies and a chocolate cake (both with dextrose instead of sugar). The coconut tuiles need some work. They were a bit average. The chocolate cake was good, especially with chocolate icing (dextrose instead of icing sugar).
In between these experiments I made some more paper flowers . . . .
* a sapphire blue rose
* half a dozen turquoise crepe paper dahlias
* an orange origami flower.
Anything to keep my mind occupied.
I also sussed out a free online movie streaming site – something I have until now, been vehemently opposed to – where I watched the wonderful “Ender’s Game”. The movie adaption of a book I read over 15 years ago.
I know, have the knowledge, that my *Asthma* is a physiological disease that requires medication. But because the symptoms are a reduction of ’emotion stimulants’ like seratonin, noradrenaline, etc and this in turn makes me ‘feel’ sad, it is easy to ignore all of my knowledge and instead just desperately crave the symptoms to end.
So I keep my hands busy, and try to eat well and just stay alive.
Sometimes this is all I can manage.
And I still miss Jack so much.