Stop Teaching Your Children To Be ‘Nice’

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Apologies up front:
my syntax and vocab in this post are woeful,
but I’m tired and don’t really give a shit!

I haven’t really talked about my Mum
here on my blog.

I have respected that she has a right to her
anonymity.

“Pialosophy “is about me,
and although how I was brought up affects me as an adult,
and therefore I need to discuss it here,
I still need to respect my Mum in the process.

Not that she reads my blog.
She’s too scared,
as she actually believes that I MUST be writing about her.

Now,
my whole life
I have refrained from ‘blaming’ my Mum
for any perceived parental mistakes.

My Mum did the best she could.

It is a fact of life that
having a baby is one of the easiest things in life to do,
yet,
being a good parent is one of the most difficult!

So, without laying blame on my Mum,
I have to say that the way that I was brought ‘up’,
was flawed in the extreme.

You see,
I am empathetic
and
I’m also very creative,
and,
I’m also very sensitive,
and
nurturing
&
loving
&
generous.

You get it, right?!?

And I was brought up with the general notion,
that you must be fair and just and caring and honest.
These are admirable and honourable qualities in any Human Being.

The problem is,
most fair and honourable and just and caring people,
are dealt with poorly in this world.

Besides there being little reward for such characteristics,
it could be argued that having such characteristics are a genuine handicap.

Think about it.

There is no REAL justice in our legal systems.
how could there be?
We can’t REALLY make the punishment fit the crime, can we?

Innately,
Human Beings have a strong sense of survival.
And in a lot of cases this forces people in sub-standard social (and therefore economic) situations
to  strike out and survive.
This usually consist of committing a crime.

There are also those who are not held truly accountable for their crimes,
like Wall St Bankers, children of wealthy citizens, politically/socially elite citizens.
These perpetrators of crime can, and most often do,
purchase their way out of the legal system
therefore avoiding any sense of justice being metered out.

.

No one in business can thrive and be entirely FAIR or even HONEST.

Despite being an extremely generous man now with his philanthropic work,
Bill Gates has proven to be a ruthless business man.
Although he stayed within the boundaries of the law,
we already know that legality and morality are two very different forms of behaviour.

Thousands of rulers, royalty and business leaders over the 40,000 years
of our existence on this Earth,
are proof that it is only the ruthless and self-serving who survive to tell the tales.
And in doing so, can write whatever ‘truth’ they want about themselves.

Although I don’t believe it is realistic – or even desirable –
to want our ‘heroes’ to be ‘squeaky clean’,
I have to share my sense of abject disappointment
that history and future are one and the same
when it comes to ethical behaviour and the leaders of the people.

.

CARING people who follow their passion into careers,
usually end up in physical, mentally and emotionally draining jobs,
that offer poor financial reward and usually end up with the breakdown of the caring soul.
Teachers, nurses, social workers, police, etc, etc.

Seriously – look at the most caring people in and around your life.
What positions do they hold in your community?

Do they financially prosper from these positions?
Do they appear to be victim to unwanted and aggressive (bullying) behaviour from others,
simply because they are a caring soul?

I was a teacher for 15 years,
and in that time I was
* sexually harassed on three separate occasions (three different men) and was vilified by other staff members when I tried to deal with it (no action was taken against the men on any of the three occasions)
* bullied by at least five women who just took a disliking to me, including one who pushed me to resign from teaching forever
* was repeatedly given the most difficult classes to teach with little or no support
* was ‘made fun of’ at meetings, even while present
* regularly worked overtime on projects and on children with no recompense, reward, acknowledgment or promotion and was often reprimanded for a perceived slight or error on my part
* etc
* etc.

The list goes.

.

BUT,
what if I had been taught from an early age,
to NOT be the caring, thoughtful, honest and fair soul?!?

What,
instead,
if I had been taught to stay true to my nature but only AFTER I had secured what I deserved?

What if my Mum
had taken the time to teach me to
* pay myself first
* look after myself first
* think of myself first
* put myself first?

Where would I be right now?

.

. Not in my case !!!

.
Not in my case !!!

.

.

.

.

.

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