I have had a tough day today.
Not insurmountable, but definitely tough.
I received some disturbing news about my new job/career last Wednesday
that I hoped would be cleared up by today.
I was wrong!
I won’t be working tomorrow
as it appears I will not be receiving income for my last full week (50 hours).
Although there are two parties working frantically to remedy the situation,
there is unfortunately no guarantee that I will have a financial position tomorrow,
or the next day
or the next.
Then tonight at 8:00pm, I answered the phone – it was my estranged Mum.
I have tried VERY sincerely to be a good daughter,
but I still have a painful and hurtful relationship with my Mum.
I love her, but I can’t be around her.
I made the effort yesterday to call her and wish her a Happy Mothers’ Day.
She wasn’t home so I had to leave a message.
I was her only child to call her.
My two sisters both have children.
Her 17 year old cat had died in her arms this morning.
God I feel sick just typing it.
I wish we had the kind of relationship where I could comfort her,
but tragically all efforts to make that happen have
I am clinging to my own boys, so desperately tonight.
I am in so much pain.