Why Am I SUCH A Loser?!?

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No matter how hard I try, I just can’t seem to work out how to ‘fit in’.

I am such a loser!

I can’t ignore bullies.
I can’t aim to be mediocre.
NOT that I am anything special, otherwise!
I can’t play it safe.
I can’t do the bare minimum.
I can’t shut up.
I can’t connect.
I can’t let it go.
I can’t do anything.

Some days I just hate having to stay alive.

It hurts so fucking much.

And it is SO fucking lonely.

I don’t care that this is my depression talking.
I can’t keep it inside.
It’s bulging out of me.

I wish this were me.

I wish this were me.

 .

.

But it’s obviously not!

.

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10 responses »

  1. Hugs because depression is an extremely fucked up illness!!! I have it to so I know, it can be so hard to fight against it and try and keep positive. Some days just completely suck. I know for a fact you are a kind hearted, generous, wonderful and loving person, life may have been dealing you crap but you keep going that shows huge amounts of courage, tenacity and resilliance but even the most resiliant end up needing the constant barrage of crap to stop at some point. Oh and did I mention your incredibly talented creatively? Lots of squishy hugs as always here if you need someone xoxox

    • As always – thanks Amanda.

      I try SOOOO hard to survive in this world but I just keep getting reminded of what a FREAK I am. It really does gets to me.
      Thanks for the love!

      Pia xxx

      • I know, and it is hard betting you often feel invisible as well, I know I sure do. But you know what think of how much fakeness could have to be in your life to march to the same beat as everyone else, I think that would make you worse. You are taking a really hard journey it always gets harder before the light starts to shine again lots of Hugs. You can do it and you are just keep chipping away.

  2. Sometimes we don’t fit in because we aren’t like the others. We can’t connect because we feel and see things in a different way. It can be lonely. I’ve been there. But we are not here randomly either.

    Check to see if you’re an empath. They are often the ones who feel this way.

    • Thanks for your support Gary. I ‘know’ all about my issues (and “yes”, I am an Empath), but I have to admit everything has just accumulated to the point where I just feel SOOOOO out of touch with society.

      I truly appreciate your time in leaving me a comment. Really sweet.
      Thank you.

      Pia

    • Thank you.
      The program [To This Day Project] looks amazing.
      I have put a link in my next post – I hope it has the opportunity to make a difference 🙂

      Pia

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