Be Brave Enough to Be Alone


It’s funny how you can be holding on to something one minute, certain that it is safe,
and the next minute you drop it and no matter how hard you look – it’s just disappeared.

Like a golfball in the rough,


a sewing needle on the carpet


your self worth in an abusive relationship.


Last night I watched an episode of the beautiful and poignant
“Call the Midwife”.

One of the story lines involved a young mum
caught in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship.

Towards the end of the program
he forces her to do something that is despicable and disgusting . . . .

. . . . and I totally understand why she didn’t

You see,
for two and half years, I was in an abusive relationship.
It was mental/emotional abuse.
I was never physically assaulted.

Which in a way was worse as he
nor anyone else
could see or believe that I was being abused.

It took me a full FIVE years to recover after I had left him.

Five years of therapy, medication, depression, isolation, loneliness and alienation.

But Peeps, I’m here to tell you,
it was worth every fucking solitary and depressing moment.

When I look back at how ‘beige’ I had been forced to become and all the things I have achieved, suffered, endured and enjoyed since making the decision to leave . . . .

. . . . well, let’s just say that I am grateful.
Ecstatically grateful.

I was brave enough to be alone.
Brave enough to be lonely.
Brave enough to be wrong.
Brave enough to be poor.

And now?

I’m not “there” yet – but I get closer every day.
Every single day.


Would you be brave enough?
I bet you would!



One response »

  1. Emotional Abuse is so much harder because often people around you tell you your being silly or you think maybe your overeacting or that after a time you obviously deserve what your getting, It takes such a long time to recover from but remember how amazing you are. So glad to see you blogging again. Be proud because I am sure this blog will help others. Lots of squishy hugs

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