Friend-less-ness . . . It’s Not A Mystery

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I have long known that the reason I have few friends, is because I push people away.

In fact, until only recently I had many friends.

Over the past decade I have increasingly become embarrassed about who I am and where I have ended up (in life).
I feel I have nothing to show for my time on this Earth.

I haven’t achieved any worthwhile goals.
I have no children or family.
I haven’t accumulated any wealth.
I have not made any positive change to anything important.
I am not desirable enough (inside & out) to attract a man.
I have no discernable talents.
I am not a leader.
I am not a very good follower.
I allow myself to be used – over and over again!
I am too intelligent to be a part of the crowd, but am in no way intelligent enough to impress individuals I respect.

I know this just sounds like a pathetic “Pity Party”,
but I’m not really depressed ATM.
I’m simply acknowledging a truth.

One of the saddest elements of my observation about my friend-less state,
is that I recognised over 25 years ago that my Mum lived like this.

And how hard have I worked and studies and endeavoured NOT to repeat her mistakes?

Harder than I can bring myself to utter.

All that work
and I still end up
replicating the past.

.

Now THAT is depressing!

.

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6 responses »

  1. You are far to hard on yourself. Life rarely turns out how we plan. You just cant think like that. Its hard to be where you are I know cause we are in the same boat in so many ways. Remember you are amazing and valuable. You touch peoples lives in ways you do not recognise. We love and miss you Pia. Lots of Hugs

      • Hugs I know I get it I really do I mean I love JB’s but they all have the lives we thought we would have by now it cant be easy reading that stuff everyday. Lots of squishy hugs. Remember I am here for you and you are amazing and do make a difference your latest blog post does that and btw your kindness and small prizes last year really meant a lot to me. Small things can make such a huge difference 🙂

  2. WHAT A LOAD OF RUBBISH !!!!! you have loads of friends just waiting to enjoy your gorgeous company over at JELLYBEANS …… we miss you … get your butt back to us xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

      • NEVER Pia !!!!!!!! we ALL have our problems …. and EVERYONE needs someone to share theirs with !!! A PROBLEM SHARED .. IS A PROBLEM HALVED !!!

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