The Funk

Standard

I know it upsets people intensely when I ‘disappear’.

I have often been berated for hiding and becoming silent.
In fact,
more often than not
I am ‘told off’
for becoming insular and withdrawn.

I get in trouble!

Despite this,
I still remain mute.

Why?

I am yet to meet a person,
friend or relative or acquaintance alike,
who can cope with what I have to say.

You see,
I understand who I am.

I understand my weaknesses,
my negatives,
my imperfections,
my faults,
my deficiencies.

Is it obvious that I used my thesaurus?!?

LMAO, but back to the issue at hand . . .

I am basically not shy about where I have gone wrong in life and where I am likely to repeat mistakes.
It is what it is!

And because I am able to be so blunt about what is wrong in my life
most people just can’t wrap their heads around it.

It seems weird to be so calm about a catastrophe.

But it happens to be one of my strengths!!!

And so,

. . . .

I try to communicate the basic nature of what is happening
and keep the really deep emotional entanglement
to myself.

And others just can’t hack it.

So today,
with everything that has happened in the last 24 hours with my Mum,
I left without anyone to ‘tell’,
and I am sitting
wallowing in a definitive
“funk”.

I WILL get over it, but it’s going to take a couple of days.
And then I’ll be done!
Another trauma averted.

Another life skill learned.

Lucky, aren’t I?

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