Ever So Hard + Possibility

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It is very easy at this transition from an old (expired) year
into a new (fresh) year,
to feel tangible sense of possibility.

. . . . . . . . . . SHIT!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . That’s it.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . My word for 2013!

.

POSSIBILITY

.

Seriously – it just came to me as I typed.

I was watching the Sydney NYE fireworks (on tv)
and instead of feeling isolated, lonely and dejected
I felt . . . well, I felt hopeful.

I felt like I needed to shake off 20 years of living (unaccepted) in rural W.A.
being the ‘weirdo’,
completely outside of all the ‘normal’ groups
and
I
need to
MOVE.

Move

And look at t this

TO Move

HAPPY NEW YEAR, peeps.

Bring it on!!!!

………………………………………………………………………..

I know that my Depression is speaking very loudly at the mo.

How can it not?

I am being a dutiful daughter, my simple Christmas evaporated, my sisters continue to be . . well, themselves, I still have not been able to start my new career, so I have very few $ at hand,
AND,
I have had a truly shitty twelve months.
Truly!
SHITTY!

But – to top it all off . . . I have also been struggling with a letter in my mind.
A letter I have been trying to scribe for months to include with my handmade Chrismtas cards
(cards that were accidentally destroyed by a glass of water by a friend).

The letter in question
has been mentally compiled
and then discarded
throughout the day,
every day
for the past three months.

The words and sentences and paragraphs come eloquently to my mind,
however as soon as I try to sit and write them – they disappear!

So I try ever so hard to start again.

And my inability to publish it is causing a cancer.

 

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