Big Enough

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I came across this tweet today . . .

 

Big Enough

 

. . . . and it made me realise that the bullies didn’t win when they took away my job.

They won when I stopped blogging!

And in reality, I need this blog more than I need that job.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Yesterday my Mum attempted suicide.

She didn’t mean it of course, she was just indulging in self pity.
She’s done it before.

This time it was seven days before Christmas,
last time it was the night before my 19th birthday.

I feel very tired of having to deal with her dramas.
It’s exhausting.

I tried so hard this year to help her through rehab.
I spent money I didn’t have and time I couldn’t afford,
driving two and a half hours to see her and visit her in hospital.
I rang her a minimum of once a day.
I cleaned her flat and did all her gardening.

Even when she fell off the wagon and lied to me about it,
I still supported her and remained non-judgemental.

She REFUSED to tell any of her family and friends and
she refused to ask either of my other sisters to support her.

It was all up to me.

And it was fucking exhausting.

And now – she needs me AGAIN and I am so tired.

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