On Saturday night I took my Mum to a game of Bingo.
Not your usual ‘granny style’ bingo – no,
this was Bogan Bingo.
Lots (LOTS) of swearing.
The F word was the most common
and the C word came out twice.
Lots of flannelette shirts and ugg boots.
Quite a few ‘mullet’ wigs as well.
I saw a lot of people I knew.
Mostly local business owners.
Lots of really decent family-oriented folks.
There were some fun games throughout the evening including an ‘air guitar competition.
A 96cm flat tv.
One eventual winner.
And his prize stunned us all.
The letters “TV” cut out of 3mm mdf at the height of 96cm.
The whole room erupted with laughter!
A few other games were played during the evening,
including bingo (which inconsequentially I had never played before)
and fun was had by all.
There was one really sour note to the evening however.
And dammit, I didn’t get a photo of it or the culprit using it.
A drinking funnel.
A retard of a human being brought, used and ‘shared’ the funnel all evening.
One whole stubby of beer went into the funnel and 3 seconds later,
it was in the gullet of some poor already inebriated fool.
He used peer pressure
(as opposed to Pia pressure)
to make others at his table and around the room
consume 375ml of beer at a dangerously (stupidly) fast pace.
Binge drinking had their poster boy.
A Brian Mannix ** looking gnome,
who bullied others into killing more brain cells.
Although there was no one under the age of 18 at the event,
it’s not hard to see how binge drinking survives so well in our society.
I was desperate to say something
but knew I would be put down as the “Fun Police”,
Every one else knew it too.
The real tragedy
is that the evening was a fund raiser for junior football in our town!
** Brian Mannix is a dude & a legend
– the comparison is purely physical,
certainly not moral or character.