From age 10

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There are small glimpses of clarity that come in life.
Regularly.
We all see them but not all of us acknowledge them.

I always feel cleansed and reenergised when I have one of these moments.

Restored.

………………………………….

My Pity Party is over.
I have had a cry
and a
late night
and a
sleep in.

I’ll let my boys sleep with me tonight,
get lots of snuggles
and
wake up feeling loved.

…………………………………

.

When I was 10

I was told by my Mum’s friends and colleagues and people from church, that I had to take more responsibility.
That I had to help my Mum.

Because she was the sole parent now and she needed my help.
My two lounger sisters and younger brother also got the ‘be good now’ speech.

Sadly, we were already good kids.
Mum always got compliments about our manners, and helpfulness
and general chirpy dispositions.
We were happy kids.

From the age of 10, this changed for me.

I became a pseudo parent. By accident and by need.
And I sucked at it a bit.

My sisters came to loath me for it. My brother loved abusing it.
My Mum came to resent Me for it.
So that makes me the Bad Guy, as well.

So after years and then decades of playing the most despised role in my family,
I am now a parent without children, without a partner, without her own parents.

I think I can start to see why I my heart hurts.

………………………………………

But my Pity Party IS over!!!

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2 responses »

    • Appreciate the support, Garry. A PP is like a vortex – it’s not until you are ‘flung’ out the other side that you realise how bad it was. Totally in an awesome place now! Xoxox Pia

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